That's intense
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
