had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
