I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
