Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
