I can't breathe out the right side of my face
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
