i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
