i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have fence marks all over my body
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
