Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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