You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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