WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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