just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
