Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
