As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
