I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
