If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
