Nicole vs. Life
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
