i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
