hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
