i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
