dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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