STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
