I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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