There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
