Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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