ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
