Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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(310): View more from California

My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.

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