garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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