You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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