There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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