K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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