i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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