3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
