omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I will pee on everything he values.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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