i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
