so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
