i don't like sucking hair
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
