Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
