My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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