Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
