Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
