he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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