He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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