We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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