So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
