It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
