So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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