Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
