tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
