I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
