I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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