38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
