so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
