i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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