You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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